I was married for 18 years and it feels very strange to be "alone". I say I going to embrace it so that I can enjoy living in the moment and the reality of my life. But it is a struggle. I absolutely LOVED being married. I loved making decisions with someone and having a partner in this thing called life. I loved the title of "wife" and still use it.
I am the kind of person that will talk to people in line ups, on the bus, on my walks, and in a public washroom, I stop and talk to most people who will stop and talk to me. These people are strangers and have no idea I am a widow and I tell stories of my husband. To these stangers I live the life of a wife. I complain and laugh still about the things he does....or did.
He was my life, but my life goes on now without him. So what is my life? I am learning, I am going to embrace it. But I have to admit, there is a lot of it that I hate. There is also a lot that I love. It is the things that I love that I will embrace while I grieve what I have lost. This is me learning.
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